Tag Archives: Humor

Lost and Found – June 19th Edition

What to remember about June 19th…

  • 1846  New York Base Ball Club defeats Knickerbockers 23-1 in 1st recorded official game of baseball; played on Elysian Field in Hoboken
  • 1864  CSS Alabama, the most successful Confederate commerce raider of the war, sunk off the coast of France by USS Kearsarge
  • 1886  Future 27th President William Howard Taft marries Hellen “Nellie” Herron in Cincinnati, Ohio
  • 1910  Father’s Day is celebrated for the 1st time
  • 1917  King George V changes royal family name to Windsor from the Germanic Saxe-Coburg-Gotha; all German titles eliminated as well
  • 1933  Exiled Communist leader Leon Trotsky given asylum in France
  • 1944  Battle of Philippine Sea begins; largest aircraft carrier battle in history; Japanese fleet irreparably damaged
  • 1953  Julius and Ethel Rosenberg executed in the electric chair at Sing Sing Prison for conspiracy to commit espionage
  • 1977  Guardian Angels leader Curtis Sliwa shot twice in Manhattan
  • 1978  Garfield comic strip first published in U.S.

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25 Statements On Politics And Government

You can double-check the sourcing on these, but I think I have them right (Those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it. – Edmund Burke)
  1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.–John Adams
  2. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed–Mark Twain
  3. Suppose you were an idiot.. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.–Mark Twain
  4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.–Winston Churchill
  5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.–George Bernard Shaw
  6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money –G. Gordon Liddy
  7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner–James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
  8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.–Douglas Casey (Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University)
  9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.–P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian
  10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.–Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)
  11. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it.. If it keeps moving, regulate it.. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.–Ronald Reagan (1986)
  12. I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts–Will Rogers
  13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free–P.J. O’Rourke
  14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other–Voltaire (1764)
  15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you!–Pericles (430 B.C.)
  16. No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.–Mark Twain (1866)
  17. Talk is cheap except when Congress does it.–Anonymous
  18. The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.–Ronald Reagan
  19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.–Winston Churchill
  20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.–Mark Twain
  21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.–Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
  22. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class save Congress–Mark Twain
  23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.–Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
  24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.–Thomas Jefferson
  25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.–Aesop

Cicero on balancing the budget

No matter what language, it’s still Merry Christmas!

I hunted across the length and breadth of the internet.  From all around the world, I present to you my (not quite yet) complete list of Christmas Greetings.  Spread the joy with friends and family everywhere.  Even if you don’t use one of the translations below, remember that Christ is the reason for the season.  Share His spirit and be a blessing to everyone in your life.

Feel free to send along additions or corrections.  I know my brother will come up with some that I missed.

  • Afrikaans Gesëende Kersfees
  • Afrikander Een Plesierige Kerfees
  • African/ Eritrean/ Tigrinja Rehus-Beal-Ledeats
  • Albanian Gezur Krislinjden
  • Arabic: Milad Majid or Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
  • Argentine: Feliz Navidad
  • Armenian: Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand
  • Azeri: Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun
  • Bahasa Malaysia: Selamat Hari Natal
  • Basque: Zorionak eta Urte Berri On!
  • Bengali: Shuvo Naba Barsha
  • Binary Code (for the computer geek in your life): 01001101011001010111001001110010011110010010000001 00001101101000011100100110100101110011011101000110 11010110000101110011
  • Bohemian: Vesele Vanoce
  • Bosnian: (BOSANSKI) Cestit Bozic i Sretna Nova godina
  • Brazilian: Boas Feliz Natal or Festas e Feliz Ano Novo
  • Breton: Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat
  • Bulgarian: Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo
  • Catalan: Bon Nadal i un Bon Any Nou!
  • Chile: Feliz Navidad
  • Chinese: (Cantonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan’Gung Haw Sun
  • Chinese: (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
  • Choctaw: Yukpa, Nitak Hollo Chito
  • Columbia: Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo
  • Cornish: Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth
  • Corsian: Pace e salute
  • Crazanian: Rot Yikji Dol La Roo
  • Cree: Mitho Makosi Kesikansi
  • Croatian: Sretan Bozic
  • Czech: Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok
  • Danish: Glædelig Jul
  • Duri: Christmas-e- Shoma Mobarak
  • Dutch: Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! or Zalig Kerstfeast
  • Elvish: Ná merye i turuhalmeri!
  • English: Merry Christmas
  • Eskimo: (inupik) Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!
  • Esperanto: Gajan Kristnaskon
  • Estonian: Ruumsaid juulup
  • Ethiopian: (Amharic) Melkin Yelidet Beaal
  • Faeroese: Gledhilig jol og eydnurikt nyggjar!
  • Farsi: Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad
  • Finnish: Hyvaa joulua
  • Flemish: Zalig Kerstfeest en Gelukkig nieuw jaar
  • French: Joyeux Noel
  • Frisian: Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije Jier!
  • Galician: Bo Nada
  • Gaelic: Nollaig chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath ùr!
  • German: Froehliche Weihnachten
  • Greek: Kala Christouyenna!
  • Haiti: (Creole) Jwaye Nowel or to Jesus Edo Bri’cho o Rish D’Shato Brichto
  • Hausa: Barka da Kirsimatikuma Barka da Sabuwar Shekara!
  • Hawaiian: Mele Kalikimaka
  • Hebrew: Mo’adim Lesimkha. Chena tova
  • Hausa: Barka da Kirsimatikuma Barka da Sabuwar Shekara!
  • Hawaian: Mele Kalikimaka ame Hauoli Makahiki Hou!
  • Hindi: Shub Naya Baras (actually Good New Year, closest I could get)
  • Hungarian: Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket
  • Icelandic: Gledileg Jol
  • Indonesian: Selamat Hari Natal
  • Iraqi: Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
  • Irish: Nollaig Shona Dhuit or Nodlaig mhaith chugnat
  • Iroquois: Ojenyunyat Sungwiyadeson honungradon nagwutut. Ojenyunyat osrasay.
  • Italian: Buone Feste Natalizie
  • Japanese: Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
  • Jiberish: Mithag Crithagsigathmithags
  • Klingon (Star Trek): QISmaS DatIvjaj ‘ej DIS chu’ DatIvjaj
  • Korean: Sung Tan Chuk Ha
  • Latin: Natale hilare et Annum Faustum!
  • Latvian: Prieci’gus Ziemsve’tkus un Laimi’gu Jauno Gadu!
  • Lausitzian: Wjesole hody a strowe nowe leto
  • Lettish: Priecigus Ziemassvetkus
  • Lithuanian: Linksmu Kaledu
  • Low Saxon: Heughliche Winachten un ‘n moi Nijaar
  • Luxembourgish: Schèine Chreschtdaag an e gudde Rutsch
  • Macedonian: Sreken Bozhik
  • Maltese: IL-Milied It-tajjeb
  • Manx: Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa
  • Maori: Meri Kirihimete
  • Marathi: Shub Naya Varsh
  • Morse Code: — . .-. .-. -.– / -.-. …. .-. .. … – — .- …
  • Navajo: Merry Keshmish
  • Norwegian: God Jul or Gledelig Jul
  • Occitan: Pulit nadal e bona annado
  • Papiamento: Bon Pasco
  • Papua New Guinea: Bikpela hamamas blong dispela Krismas na Nupela yia i go long yu
  • Pennsylvania German: En frehlicher Grischtdaag un en hallich Nei Yaahr!
  • Peru: Feliz Navidad y un Venturoso Año Nuevo
  • Philipines: Maligayan Pasko!
  • Polish: Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia or Boze Narodzenie
  • Portuguese: Feliz Natal
  • Pushto: Christmas Aao Ne-way Kaal Mo Mobarak Sha
  • Rapa-Nui (Easter Island): Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi. Te-Pito-O-Te-Henua
  • Rhetian: Bellas festas da nadal e bun onn
  • Romanche (sursilvan dialect): Legreivlas fiastas da Nadal e bien niev onn!
  • Rumanian: Sarbatori vesele
  • Russian: Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom
  • Sami: Buorrit Juovllat
  • Samoan: La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
  • Sardinian: Bonu nadale e prosperu annu nou
  • Scots Gaelic: Nollaig chridheil huibh
  • Serb-Croatian: Sretam Bozic. Vesela Nova Godina
  • Serbian: Hristos se rodi.
  • Singhalese: Subha nath thalak Vewa. Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa
  • Slovak: Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok
  • Slovakian: Sretan Bozic or Vesele vianoce
  • Slovene: Vesele Bozicne. Screcno Novo Leto
  • Spanish: Feliz Navidad
  • Swedish: God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År
  • Tagalog: Maligayamg Pasko. Masaganang Bagong Taon
  • Tamil: (Tamizh) Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal (actually Good New Year, closest I could get)
  • Thai: Sawadee Pee Mai
  • Trukeese: (Micronesian) Neekiriisimas annim oo iyer seefe feyiyeech!
  • Turkish: Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
  • Ukrainian: Srozhdestvom Kristovym
  • Urdu: Naya Saal Mubarak Ho (actually Good New Year, closest I could get)
  • Vietnamese: Chung Mung Giang Sinh
  • Welsh: Nadolig Llawen
  • Yugoslavian: Cestitamo Bozic
  • Yoruba: E ku odun, e ku iye’dun!

(Hat tip goes out to my old college roommate Drew for inspiring this post.)

Celebrate World Vegan Day

Sorry for the late post on this.  Back in 1944 November 1st was established as World Vegan Day.  Anyone want to go get a burger?  I guess it gives the Occupy Wall Street crowd another reason to wag their fingers at us.

And here’s a little bonus…

Lost and Found – October 12th Edition

What to remember about October 12th…

Columbus Day – USA

  • 1492  Italian explorer Christopher Columbus reaches the New World
  • 1792  1st celebration of Columbus Day in America is held in New York
  • 1810  Wedding festivities in Bavaria become the 1st Oktoberfest
  • 1870  Confederate general Robert E. Lee dies at home in Lexington, Virginia (b. 1807)
  • 1892  By presidential proclamation, the Pledge of Allegiance is introduced to schools across America during Columbus Day celebrations
  • 1933  Alcatraz Island is acquired from the Army by the Department of Justice for use as a Federal Prison; island had been used as a military prison since 1861
  • 1964  1st spacecraft with multi-person crew launches; Soviets lead the space race with flight of Voskhod 1
  • 1979  Douglas Adams’ classic comedy work The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is 1st published
  • 1997  American folk singer John Denver dies in crash of an experimental aircraft in California (b. 1943)
  • 1999  Day of Six Billion; United Nations estimates that earth’s population reached 6 billion persons this day
  • 2000  Muslim al Qaeda terrorists use suicide boat bomb in attack against the USS Cole; 17 sailors killed and 38 wounded
  • 2002  Muslim terror group Jemaah Islamiyah detonates car bomb outside nightclub on Bali; 182 killed, another 200 injured
  • 2007  Former Vice President Al Gore is awarded Nobel Peace Prize

Lost and Found – October 11th Edition

What to remember about October 11th…

  • 1779  Polish noble and general in the Continental Army Casimir Pulaski dies from wounds after Battle of Savannah
  • 1809  Meriwether Lewis dies under suspicious circumstances along the Natchez Trace in Tennessee
  • 1890  Daughters of the American Revolution organization is founded in Washington, D.C.
  • 1910  Former President Theodore Roosevelt becomes 1st U.S. President to fly in an airplane; plane built by the Wright brothers and flown by Arch Hoxsey in St. Louis, Missouri
  • 1958  Pioneer 1 is 1st spacecraft launched by NASA
  • 1975  Future president Bill Clinton marries Hillary Rodham
  • 1975  Saturday Night Live comedy show premiers on NBC
  • 2000  Space Shuttle Discovery heads into orbit; begins NASA’s 100th shuttle mission
  • 2002  Former president Jimmy Carter is awarded Nobel Peace Prize
  • 2008  Luc Costermans sets new land speed record for un-sighted (blind) drivers; reaches 192 mph in a Lamborghini Gallardo

Lost and Found – October 2nd Edition

What to remember about October 2nd…

  • 1780  British officer John Andre is hanged as a spy for his role on the Benedict Arnold treason plot
  • 1835  1st shots are fired in the Texas Revolution when Mexican army tries to disarm settlers at Gonzales (see flag below)
  • 1919  President Woodrow Wilson suffers a massive stroke; he is left nearly incapacitated for the remainder of his term
  • 1950  Charles Shultz publishes the comic strip Peanuts in newspapers for the 1st time
  • 1967  Thurgood Marshall is sworn in as the 1st African-American justice of the Supreme Court of the United States
  • 1985  American movie star Rock Hudson dies of AIDS in Beverly Hills, California (b. 1925)
  • 2002  John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo open fire in the 1st attack of their 3-week sniper spree in the areas around Washington, D.C.
  • 2006  Charles Roberts takes hostages at Amish schoolhouse in Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania; he shoots 10 young girls, killing 5 before taking his own life

“Gonzales Flag” fashioned by settlers determined to resist Mexican attempts to disarm the town

Lost and Found – September 17th Edition

What to remember about September 17th…

  • 1730  Prussian general Baron Friedrich von Steuben is born; Inspector General and a founder of the Continental Army
  • 1787  The Constitution of the United States is adopted by the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
  • 1862  Union and Rebel troops clash in bloodiest one-day battle in American history at Antietam Creek, Virginia; General Lee’s invasion of the north is halted
  • 1908  Thomas Etholen Selfridge is 1st person killed in a powered aircraft flight; dies in crash of Wright Flyer piloted by Orville Wright
  • 1916  German pilot Manfred “Red Baron” von Richthofen shoots down his first enemy plane over the Western Front
  • 1944  Allied airborne landings of Operation Market Garden begin in the Netherlands
  • 1976  NASA publicly unveils the Space Shuttle Enterprise
  • 1983  Vanessa Williams becomes 1st African-American woman to be crowned Miss America; title is taken away a year later when nude pictures are revealed
  • 1997  American radio and television comedian Richard Bernard “Red” Skelton dies at home in Anza, California (b. 1913)
  • 2001  Trading resumes on the New York Stock Exchange after the September 11th attacks; longest closure since the Great Depression

Lost and Found – August 11th Edition

What to remember about August 11th…

  • 1806  Meriwether Lewis is shot during the Corps of Discovery exploratory expedition
  • 1877  American astronomer Asaph Hall makes observations discovering the moons of Mars
  • 1921  American author and historian Alex Haley is born
  • 1929  Babe Ruth becomes 1st baseball player to hit 500 career home runs
  • 1934 The 1st group of federal prisoners arrives at the former military prison on Alcatraz Island in San Francisco Bay
  • 1965  5 days of rioting begin in the Watts neighborhood of Los Angeles after white police struggle with a black DUI suspect
  • 1972  Last U.S. ground combat unit leaves Vietnam
  • 1973  Movie classic American Graffiti is released
  • 1984  President Reagan jokes during a sound check stating “My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.”
  • 1994  Major League Baseball player’s union goes on strike; for 1st time in 89 years there will be no World Series champion
  • 2009  American founder of the Special Olympics Eunice Kennedy Shriver dies in Boston; sister of President John F. Kennedy

Lost and Found – July 12th Edition

What to remember about July 12th…

  • 1804  Alexander Hamilton dies a day after being shot in a duel by Vice President Aaron Burr
  • 1812  American forces invade near Ontario, Canada in War of 1812
  • 1817  American author, abolitionist, and philosopher Henry David Thoreau is born in Concord, Massachusetts
  • 1862  President Abraham Lincoln signs law establishing the Medal of Honor
  • 1864  Attack on Washington, D.C by Confederate forces is repelled
  • 1895  American inventor, engineer, and futurist Richard Buckminster “Bucky” Fuller is born in Milton, Massachusetts (d. 1983)
  • 1909  16th Amendment to the United States Constitution is proposed, allows the federal government to collect income tax
  • 1937  American actor and comedian William Henry Bill Cosby is born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
  • 1962  Rolling Stones play their first gig, Marquee Club in London
  • 1984  Walter Mondale chooses Geraldine Ferraro as his running-mate , 1st women to become candidate for Vice President
  • 2006  Hezbollah forces launch missiles as a diversion to allow kidnapping of Israeli soldiers; incident sparks 2006 Lebanon War